Finishing Issue 3 is going to mean a lot more to me than another notch on the Felicity belt. It's become something of a manifestation of all my past failures and the only proof to myself that I'm capable of overcoming the odds. It's common advice to 'keep your chin up' 'stay postive' and to 'Keep on trucking' and it's also the best advice you can be given, if you actually take it on board and don't dismiss it as shallow and naive.
Staying postive is pretty easy when you try but a domino effect of missteps, disappointments or failures can soon turn something easy into a real struggle. Unfortunately for me I'm not a lucky person and I've had a long string of disappointments for quite a while now.
Sometimes there are people in life who make the impossible seem close enough to touch and I have those people in my life. It's their support that helps push me through what is now a worn-down will to win.
And I'm starting to realise I don't care about the lack of any audience I have for Felicity. I never started it to sell books or gain a large following. I did it to tell stories and it's going to mean so much to me that I can't give up on finishing it. I feel like I can't progress as an artist, I can't improve or blossom until I finish it.
And I will.
-T
2 comments:
Looking forward to it too!!
http://twulf.blogspot.com/2010/05/note-to-myself.html
There are days, months that we're beat to our knees. Seems we're both experiencing it within the same months, which makes it easier to understand. (for example, I about drew something alike a few weeks ago when I about gave up of me dog chained to my yard in Montana and Gizmo isn't *which he never is*) I can't begin to explain how I manage to keep sane through a lot of it. I do know though it took some encouragement from another source that also has to defeat odds everyday, every week.
In my case, I know if I don't try, if I let that domino effect finish, I won't make it. The pressure of not being able to complete something is devistating as an artist, one that wants to show things to the world. I had to stop wanting to show people who I can be and had to start doing it for myself, which is a scary thing to do since we judge ourselves endlessly all day already.
You will get it done. And then you can look at whatever it is that has been holding you back and slap the finished book down and show it that you had fooled it into thinking for a moment it may have had you, when it never did.
-Deines
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